Had to leave myself behind.

These were taken in Biloxi and Gulfport Mississippi in October 2006:










NOTE. Taken in 2006. Hurricane Katrina hit in 2005. I took these ONE YEAR AFTER the hurricane hit. I went to the Mississippi Gulf to film the reconstruction for my 16mm class. I had no idea the only thing they'd be rebuilding were casinos. There was a reason I wanted to go to Mississippi and not New Orleans. The damage in Louisiana was much worse, of course, but I felt like its poor neighbor got forgotten about. Maybe that's why it's taking so long to rebuild.

You can blame FEMA. You can blame George W. Bush. You can blame levees, poverty, CNN, blame whoever you wish. But, I think when something that big comes along, there's only so much you can do. But in that, you better every, single thing you can.

The first thing I thought, the first time I stepped foot inside the burned bar, was "This looks like Hurricane Katrina."


It's been three years since Hurricane Katrina. It's been 6 months since the Golden West fire. I'm much closer to resolve, but I'm not there yet. And now, as Gustav looks poised to hit the same area again, I wonder what there is left for it to destroy. I can't even imagine how horrible those poor people must feel, watching and waiting... again. It would be like watching the El Rey go up in flames. Shudder.

So, I'm keeping lots of good thoughts floating around for the Gulf Coast. I hope you all are too.

Tropical Depression Eight.

Want want want want want WANT Korto's jacket from last night's Project Runway:


Have have have have have HAVE this lovely creation from the Vans store:


Oh, noble Fall, thanks for giving me an excuse to buy ANOTHER jacket (or 6) I don't need.

In a world that keeps on pushing me around.

The last time I blogged about a celebrity couple I really liked, they broke up days later. So, I'm hoping that blogging about my happiness over another Ryan, this one Gosling, and Rachel McAdams being back together doesn't create any trouble. Because, REALLY, cute as pie. They're pretty much the only thing everyone on ohnotheydidnt can agree on.

Sinus issues are actually full-blown head cold. My brain has been replaced by mashed potatoes. I made a pretty bad decision and went to watch Flood the Sun and Git Some at the Stove last night. The show itself was an amazing decision, but attending while being so sickly was not. (It doesn't matter how much I love and trust my boyfriend, I still hate me some scene whores. Your shoes have no purpose other than to man-hunt. And lemme tell ya, these are the kind of dudes that doesn't work on...) I hardly ever subject myself to cold medicine these days, because I'm really sensitive to it. Normally the only time I let myself Nyquil-out is if I take a sick day. But, being at work, nodding off, is bad news. Well, I let myself have some Nyquil last night and DEAR SWEET BABY JESUS was that a good decision. I slept really well. But, to counteract, I had to take the day cold medicine today, so that I would, in fact, stay awake at work. It's a miracle I cant type this, let alone answer the phone. On top of being mashed potatoes, my brain feels like a caffiene coma. If that makes any sense.

Boyfriend's school schedule has ruled out our lunch dates, something that makes me sort of sad. Like a lighthouse in a sea of desperation, lunch with Kyle was a fantastic break in the day.

I blog with far too many commas.

Love is just God on a good day.

This past weekend was, hopefully, the last trip I take to Denver for a good, long while. I don't mind that drive too terribly much, but dang, let's go somewhere else. At least each trip I've taken up there has been a completely unique experience, from bar hopping in Trinidad to heat stroke at Mile High and now, rope burn at Red Rocks. Only two things have remained constant: 1) Marky's gone with me every, single time; 2) I've gotten sick everytime I've come back. My sinuses are driving me INSANE. I now know how capable I really am of discomfort.

And speaking of discomfort, we fit 5 people in a Dodge Neon for this trip; me, Joel, Casey, Marky and Sam. NO REALLY. But, by doing that, it meant we only spent $20 each on gas for the trip. That is freaking incredible.

We hit the road at about 7 on Thursday night, stopping in Raton so that Marky could get some dramamine. We made it into Denver close to 3am and went straight to sleep at Sarah's apartment. We got up the next morning and ate Silver Mine Subs and went to the venue.

Red Rocks is pretty. We really had absolutely no idea what to expect crowd-wise, so we got there at about 1.


We were the first people in line.

And in fact, the only people in line for almost 2 hours. People didn't start getting there till 3. But, we kept ourselves occupied.


Sambro brought his skateboard and his long board, so we puttered around the parking lot.


Classic Cat and Marky. I really must apologize for the image quality from here on out. My camera is sinking fast. And while I wait to move, I can't justify spending $1,000 on a D-80. Why, financial responsibility, WHY?

When we got really bored, this happened:



Which I put on youtube under the title ULTIMATE BACKYARD BRAWL: BENNETT VS. SYLAR. I can't wait for people to comment.

The show itself had a great lineup: NoFX, Bouncing Souls, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Street Dogs. But, the venue wasn't the best place for punk rock. All the seats are built into the ground, so having an open pit was next to impossible. People did still do it; have ridiculous pit action close to the stage, but it was seriously the most dangerous activity I had ever seen. Between that and the "barrier" made by metal poles and nylon rope, our crew got pretty banged up. But, I don't think anyone of us minded that much. The Street Dogs were okay. Every time I see them, all I can think about is how they're not the Murphys. And how if I told any one of their fans that the Street Dogs were pop punk (which they are, in fact), I would get punched in the face. The Bouncing Souls played a great set, the Bosstones were fun dance time, and NoFX hardley screwed up! Overall, it ended up being so, so, so worth it.

The next day, we slept in, got up and ate at Illegal Pete's which is like Chipotle but better. Then we went to the Cherry Creek mall so Marky could spend $225 on new sunglasses and so we could spy on the bacon slide.


I call it: Breakfast at Play.

It became clear that even though we had talked about coming home on Saturday, that wasn't going to happen. We all wanted an extra vacation day. So, we stayed and IMAXed the Dark Knight. How jealous are all of you? It was fun, the IMAX experience was pretty worth it and I think I appreciated it a lot more the second time around. Then we went to Dave N Busters where me and Sarah had the most intense game of air hockey on record.

Sunday morning, we got up and started our drive home.


Three dudes in a back seat, 2 guys, and a girl in a pizza place.

By far, the most eventful stop on the way home was Fountain Colorado. Because of construction, we ended up detouring around the famous fountain and Joel, who swore we wouldn't stop the whole way home, was incessant that we go see the fountain.



We finally got to the gas station we had originally intended in going to, where Joel bought the best shirt known to man:


and the best hat known to man:


We stopped at infamous Russell's Truck Stop outside of infamous Springer to take pictures of infamous dog pooping signs, which they have for sale inside so people would stop stealing them.




Casey, having a bit of gum trouble.

We made it home in time for me to pass out by 10. Nothing weak about that weekend, for sure. It's always brutal to come back to work after having the best vacation. Sinus drainage doesn't help either. WHINE.

In other news, I still can't find a job and I'll be spending most of my week in Edgewood watching the DNC with my momma. It's tradition.

Bring it to a vote.

Fun with temporary tattoos at Geeks Who Drink:







Maria having fun listening to Tom and Angie argue about politics at Geeks Who Drink:

'Merica.

From the Oklahoman:

LOS ANGELES - Barack Obama is getting praise from Nashville, courtesy of one big, patriotic country star.

Toby Keith, perhaps best known to non-country audiences for his post-Sept. 11 song "Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue," says he's a Democrat, and was impressed by the senator from Illinois.

Keith, an Oklahoma native, has said in the past that the 2002 song — which included lines aimed at the Taliban like "we lit up your world like the Fourth of July" — was more patriotic than pro-war.

Asked while promoting his new movie Beer For My Horses about the role of patriotism in the current presidential election, Keith replied: "There's a big part of America that really believes that there is a war on terrorism, and that we need to finish up.

"So I thought it was beautiful the other day when Obama went to Afghanistan and got educated about Afghanistan and Iraq. He came back and said some really nice things.

"So as far as leadership and patriotism goes, I think it's really important that those things have to take place. And I think he's the best Democratic candidate we've had since Bill Clinton. And that's coming from a Democrat."


...

Yes, that's right, the star of Beer For My Horses thinks it's beautiful, BEAUTIFUL, that a presidental candiate got some learning on the middle east. And correct, the singer of lyrics like "we lit up your world like the Fourth of July" is a democrat.

FORD TRUCKS.

Easter Egg.

"The brain is the control center of the central nervous system, responsible for behavior. In mammals, the brain is located in the head, protected by the skull and close to the primary sensory apparatus of vision, hearing, equilibrioception (balance), sense of taste, and olfaction (smell).

While all vertebrates have a brain, most invertebrates have either a centralized brain or collections of individual ganglia. Some animals such as cnidarians and echinoderms do not have a centralized brain, and instead have a decentralized nervous system, while animals such as sponges lack both a brain and nervous system entirely.

Brains can be extremely complex. For example, the human brain contains roughly 100 billion neurons, linked with up to 10,000 connections each."

I think it's the hardest thing in the world when our brain fails us, when we don't have control over it anymore. I have been fortunate enough to have never made it so far as to losing complete control. I've tittered, I've tottered, but luckily, I've always come up strong.

I've had my days when I didn't want to get out of bed. All I wanted to do was to not be bothered. I didn't want a single distraction, all I wanted was to be alone with my thoughts, regardless of how somber they were. I don't know what makes your brain do that, why you seclude yourself, why it seems like such a great idea to be unhappy. But, it is. And you surrender to it.

We've all surrended. But that's always been the scariest part for me, not being able to come back.

I know it's not my job to make anyone better. You've got to be able to do it on your own, or it never really works. Still, you've got to be there, you're a friend. Something about it scares me so much. I'm terrified that I'll say the wrong thing, completely throw off any kind of stability. I try to be as good as possible, and in that, I worry too much about it sometimes that I forget to act.

Every time I'm tittering, I've been so lucky to have the group of friends that I do. They're much better at it than I am. Sometimes they know what they've done, how grateful I am, but most of the time, I feel like I fail in acknowledging people. Mostly because the smallest things have the most significance to me and I worry that they'd find my gratitude a little misplaced.

The best Oklahoman I know told me once, when I was completely isolating myself, "i hope your heart heals soon". Just something about that, something he didn't think twice about typing in an aim window, made me so hopeful. My heart was healed soon enough.

Whatever it is that's swimming around in your brain, whatever thoughts are plauging you, just know that I'll do anything in my power to help pull you out. Because you've done the same for me. I hope whatever's plauging you gets to be managable. That someday, you'll want to get out of bed at 7am, take a shower, go to your shit job, make a fucking difference. That someday, it doesn't hurt to be alive. Never expect perfection, but you deserve to be on top of the game. I guarantee that.

Chances are if you care enough to read this, that's about you. I hope your heart heals soon.

Oh, here it goes again.

About this whole Club 7 nonsense... Trust me, I hate that place more than anyone else in the world. I work downtown and trying to leave downtown while there's a naked rave happening down the block is really annoying. Pre-raid, the El Rey staff liked to call out the "ho-trains" of underage girls as they walked to Club 7. In fact, when I read that police found that people had been stripping off their clothes in the club the night it was raided, I said, "What clothes? No one who went there even wore clothes." Seriously, matching bra and panty sets covering the Ho-Trains. Nuisance they may be, I knew as soon as the raid happened, it meant trouble.

From the Journal on Saturday: "City officials filed a request Friday that, if granted, would shutter Downtown's Club 7 permanently and put its owner out of business. But the request, which calls for an end to all mixed-ages clubs where alcohol is served, could also mean trouble for clubs like the Launchpad and El Rey."

OH GOOD. Remember this rodeo?

The city's complaint comes in response to a raid last week of Club 7, where investigators say they found a laundry list of drugs, including Ecstasy and heroin. Police say they found the club crowded to nearly double its legal capacity, and that 90 percent of the patrons were between 13 and 18. Police have described the club as a "predatory environment" where older men consumed alcohol and then mingled freely with underage girls who were often scantily clad.

In the three-part complaint, the city described all underage events as a nuisance if minors socialize with adults who have been served liquor.

Joe Anderson, owner of the Launchpad, said the mayor's stance unfairly paints all mixed-ages clubs with the same brush. "In going after that venue, they've decided to blanket everyone who does the same type of thing, which, of course, is unfair," he said.

The Launchpad is a Downtown club that mainly features live music, allows underage patrons and has a separate beer garden for legal drinkers. Anderson said his club has never been cited, adding that he shouldn't be punished for someone else's actions. "We have an exemplary record and probably run a much safer business than a lot of regular bars," Anderson said.

Mayor Martin Chavez acknowledged at Friday's news conference that there is a distinction between a place like the Launchpad and Club 7, but said that would not deter him from pressing for an ordinance banning such venues. Chavez said the ordinance would be written to exclude venues like Isotopes Park.

The state's Licensing and Regulation Department doesn't keep a list of mixed-ages venues, but spokeswoman Teala Kail said that, in addition to Club 7 and Launchpad, the mayor's proposal would likely affect El Rey Theater, Sunshine Theater and Fantasia Night Club.

Club 7 is closed because of code violations and could reopen as soon as the building is back up to code. The mayor's Friday request, if granted, would keep it closed for good and would prevent owner Aleksandr Mkhitarian from opening a similar club anywhere in Albuquerque.

Now, normally defeatist Cat would want to climb under a rock, cry and sob. But, here's a shot at being optimistic. Here's how the city of Albuquerque can fix its problems downtown.

Instead of focusing on shutting Club 7 down, focus on how to create safe, all ages-friendly environments that teens actually want to go to. Let's dive into WHY places like Club 7 exist, WHY there's a market for them. That's the root of the people, my dear Mayor.

So, like, how does that happen? How do you make all ages spaces safe, friendly and successful? Let's examine a little place I like to call Warehouse 21.

Now, I hate Santa Fe. I may blog about that later, but believe me, I hate Santa Fe. But, Warehouse 21 is by far, the best part of that place. "Since 1997, Warehouse 21 has served thousands of our city’s youth (aged 12-21) and young adults (aged 20-30) in the performing, media and visual arts. W21 has consistently supported youth employment throughout its existence and has partnered and developed community service programs with schools and court systems. The unique approach of Warehouse 21 fosters a particular type of creative energy that is exemplified through project-based learning models, youth access to artistic resources and instruction, and a practical “do-it-yourself” ethic that fosters artistic independence and entrepreneurialism." Every city in the world needs at least one Warehouse 21. And Albuquerque don't got it. While the city's cover of a funded-all ages venue is really cute and all, clearly, it's not opening any time soon. (But they do have enough block parties to last a lifetime.) Get serious about it, already.

The only reason Warehouse 21 has been even moderately successful is because of its a) non profit status, thus b) acquisition of state/city/federal funding. And why is that? Why is it so expensive to run a venue?

So, let's talk about artist guarantees. And let's talk about how ungodly high they are. Really. You have no idea. Let's take a pretty basic all ages show, like the Mad Caddies. Homeboys have a $8,000 guarantee for each performance they do. Not to mention, they've got a contract that pretty much guarantees anything he could ever want, also known as $200 in groceries and $100 in booze. If they play a two hour set, they get paid $4,000 an hour. UMM.

And why is that so high? Oh, probably because live music is the only way an artist can make any money nowadays, thanks to the internet and corporate record labels. But, oh, don't you worry, soon, that'll be a thing of the past, too. In fact, the independent venue will soon be a thing of the past, thanks to how ridiculous it is to pay an artist. And not that I blame them, they got bookies to pay, baby mamas to keep quiet. But really, there's nothing wrong with wanting to get paid for hard work.

But, how do venues pay for this? Let's say I charge $20 a ticket, which is actually really high for a Caddies show, and 300 people show up. That's also pretty high. That's $6,000. I'm still two grand short. And, OH WAIT. I have to pay my staff, my sound, my property taxes, my utilities, advertising, the list goes on and on. A supposed $8,000 event will end up costing you $15,000. Easy. And unfortunately, money does not fall like rain from the El Rey's roof. How does one pay for this?

If you said alcohol, gee you're a smart one. (Or you've been subject to one of Cat's at least 45 minute rants on the subject, which are normally sponsored by, you guessed it, alcohol!) Oh, sweet, sweet drunky nectar, you and Quinceañeras are the only reason my precious El Rey stays afloat.

So, dear city, if you're really interested in having events that kids want to go to, I'd suggest you get ready to fork out about $40,000 a week or let the private sector take care of it. (But something tells me you actually have no interest in this city's underage population, minus a skatepark or two. And why would they? Who votes?)

Now, as for places like Club 7, which specialize in Ho-Trains and cheap narcotics, I'd suggest revoking that magical piece of paper called a LIQUOR LICENSE. But, you see, it's actually in the city's best interest to keep that liquor license in the hands of irresponsible tards like Mkhitarian (which is, quite possibly, the best last name I have ever heard. It stirs up visions of Viggo in bathhouses...). KOAT said that Mkhivegetarian's liquor license has 51 violations on it. FIFTY ONE. Are you kidding me? Want to know how many times the El Rey's been cited for alcohol violation since I've worked there? Once. Some drunk dude stumbled out the back door with a beer and security didn't catch him in time. And there just happened to be a SID officer in the alley. The Launchpad? I think they've been cited twice in the last 5 years. And I think both of them were fake ID issues.

So, what happens when you get cited for something like that? It depends on the offense, be it over serving, serving a minor, unsupervised premise, etc. But, you can normally count on at least a $3,000 fine. Correct. The state takes alcohol law very seriously. So, how much money does the state make off a place like Club 7 where flavored vodka seems to stream into the mouths of underagers? 51 citations at $3,000 a piece, that's $153,000. Hey! That's the operating budget of a great all ages club for a month! SWEET!

Now, I would never, EVER suggest that the city or the state would keep open a crappy venue for the sake of profit. Nope, wouldn't do that. I mean, clearly. The city was on top of this Club 7 thing. 51 citations, multiple deaths, 11 calls to APD, they were doing their job, obviously. Keeping places like that open is SUCH a great idea. There's no way the city let that one ride for as long as they possibly could. Not a chance!

Places like Club 7 need a major overhaul. For one, they need a freaking dress code. There's a simple solution. "ohai, underage gymnast, can you keep your top on? tnx." That might cut down on the sleezeballs attempting to catch a free glimpse. Also, maybe try enforcing serving limits. That might work. Or maybe hire security to do their freaking job searching people. And, why you're at it APD, why dontcha wander down a block or two, away from the LEGAL Ho-Trains to our neck of the woods? APD has no problem having a cop at Denny's for the post-bar crowd, or at Frontier when it was open. Drunkies mix with underagers there. Just some ideas.

But, here's the most ridiculous, unbelievable, unreachable idea in the whole world. IT'S CALLED PARENTING.

Don't want your daughter in an Ecstasy-driven Ho-Train? Sweet! Don't let her dress for the Ho-Train or do Ecstasy. I know teens are tricky. It's better that my parents didn't know how many things I set on fire in high school. But, they were pretty involved in my life, they took an active interest in what I did. Therefore, no Ho-Train for me.

Just take care of your kids. I've talked to dozens of parents who have called the El Rey before Ska Prom or other all ages shows who are worried about their kids having access to illegal goodies. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't take much more than a phone call to Club 7 to find out what kind of a establishment they were. Because I'm sure Mickeyhitarian isn't the most friendly dude.

But, like I said, as soon as I saw 300 underagers with their hands on their heads in the street last weekend, I knew this was all going to end badly. So, here us decent businesses are, being threatened by the city with no just cause. Not to mention, this is TOTALLY the best year EVER for businesses on the 600th block of Central. It's just a possibility that the El Rey and the Launchpad's respective legal teams are just a tad busy right now (I HAVE NO IDEA WITH WHAT.). So, this great completely law-breaking sanction couldn't come at the better time.

Oh yeah, that's right. It breaks the law. Let me tell you a story about pain-in-the-ass alcohol laws that haven't been changed since Prohibition. An alcohol license is exactly the same for any business that wants one. The El Rey's liquor license is exactly the same as the license Isotopes Park has, or that Chili's has. (Actually, the El Rey's is a little different because we have a package license like what 7-11 or Smiths has. It's like Super-License!) So, by the city singling out specific businesses where minors are in the same space as alcohol, it's illegal. If they want to pass this ruling, and be legal about it, that has to mean that no, in fact you cannot have a $9 margarita while your children eat their chicken strips at Applebees. No, you cannot have a good ol' beer with your baseball. Nope, nope, nope.

And you know, the city and state are great at being legal. Because, it's not like if they stopped serving beer at Journal Pavilion, which has 200 citations on their record, they wouldn't loose $600,000. No. I wouldn't even dream of that.

SO. Long story short, hear's what needs to happen:

1. Got a bad track record? Don't wait till it's too late. Monitor places with high citation rates.
2. Fund a good, a really good, all ages space. And get ready to pay through the teeth for it. If you're not, let the good guys do a good job.
3. Parent. I know, I know, it's hard. Just try to work it out. It's amazing the way music venues actually aren't baby sitting services.
4. Please. Overhaul alcohol laws. They desperately need them. And hey, if you did, you'd be able shut down dens of sex and horror like the Launchpad, without compromising your profits, I mean endeavours, at the Pavilion.

Any questions? I'd call or write to your mayor and your governor:

Mayor Martin Chavez (I'M THE MAYOR.)
PO Box 1293
Albuquerque, NM 87103
(505) 768-3000
mayor@cabq.gov

Gov. Bill Richardson
490 Old Santa Fe Trail
Room 400
Santa Fe, NM 87501
(505) 476-2200

Attorney General Gary King
111 Lomas NW, Ste 300
Albuquerque, NM 87102
(505) 222-9000

So let's start giving.

(Before you read this, you must know that both Marky and I have worked in the office of the El Rey for over a year. And in that year, you go through a lot of tour riders, which are the demands the artist makes for a show. And trust me, regardless of who the artist is, regardles of how popular they are, they request the most random crap. So, yesterday Marky had a horrible day at work. I met him at O'Niells, we had beers and wrote our own tour rider.)


Cat and Marky's Tour Rider, If Any Famous Band Ever Decides to Hire Them as a Tour Manager.

1. Keg of Newscastle.
2. Samples of local microbrew available on draft. If it sucks, we don't want it. Hint: No lagers or IPA's.
3. 2 large pizzas from local pizzeria available at load in. Absolutely no Pizza Hut. Toppings to be advanced via road manager day of event.
4. Bowl of organic fruit. No plums, green apples are a must. To include assortment of berries.
5. Six pack of Blue Moon with organic oranges. Note: our rider does not require a knife, cut the orange yourself.
6. 50 frosted pint glasses.
7. No fewer than 35 bath towels, washed in fragrance and dye free detergent.
8. 25 assorted nick knacks from your state. Including but not limited to postcards, magnets, keychains, belt buckles, bandanas, stuffed animals, children's t-shirts, shot glasses & yearly calenders. 5 of these items must cost over $25. These items must be advanced through road manager day of show.
9. State plant, state tree, state flower, state animal and state bird must be present in dressing room at load in for media photo opportunity. Any of the mascots listed above which might be dangerous must have a proper caretaker on site. If caretaker has great hair, he will be included in photo.
10. Salsa from New Mexico. And only New Mexico.
11. Largest available package of Trojon Magnems.
12. Three packages of Depends. Please, no fragrance.
13. Two boxes Pampers Baby Wips.
14. Fresh Laundry scented candle to be lit in green room one half hour before load in.
15. 3 personal assistants required day of show. Must be available from load in to load out. Must be willing to sacrifice personal dignity. Resume must be submitted to road manager one week prior to event. Selected candiates will be notified one hour prior to load in.
16. One bottle Makers Mark, one bottle Sailor Jerry's Rum, two bottles Silver Oak Merlot.
17. Meal buyout for 54. Sometimes we eat for multiple people.
18. Leftovers must be fed-exed to Africa to starving Ethopian children. Photos of children must be submitted to road manager one week prior to event. Selected canidates will be notified one hour prior to load in.
19. Freshly baked wheat bread. Cornbread if in southern state. Cranberry pumkin loaf is required, regardless of seasonal availability.
20. Sugar cookies decorated to look like corresponding state quarter. Design must be pre-approved by road manager one week prior to event. If design is found undesirable, a local artist must be commissioned to design sugar cookie.
21. 12 samples of local art to be hanging in green room. Polariods of art must be forwarded to road manager one week prior to event.
22. 4 humidifers in green room, 2 on stage, one on bus, all using a different brand of bottled water. No Aquafina.
23. Sharpies in every color of the rainbow.
24. Full line of Mac makeup and skin care line with professional makeup artist.
25. One video iPod preloaded with music and videos to be advanced from road manager day of event.
26. One iPod Shuffle with random playlist, createst by venue employee with the best hair. Please, no easy listening.
27. One trumpet player to announce our arrival.
28. Two pounds of cheesecake. Must be freshbaked with an assortment of toppings available. This request is dependent on region. If there are no Italian immmigrants or mob bosses in your city, please disregard. We do not want your cheesecake.
29. One personal security guard who must be taller than 6 feet 2 inches and weigh more than 250 pounds. Also must have a nickname similiar to Johnny the Blade or Danny Knuckles.
30. Second personal security guard. Must be female with a D-size cup. Background in domanatrix is preferred. Photo must be submitted to road manager one week prior to event. Must also be willing to pose in state-themed photo.
31. Professional tattoo artist and piercer on call. Portfolios of artists must be advanced to road manager two weeks prior to event.
32. Pre-paid cell phone available for prank calling. Must be accompanied by directions of local businesses & residents with funny if not unfortunate last names. (Example: Butte.)
33. First three seasons of a selected WB Drama on DVD. Monday- One Tree Hill, Tuesday- Everwood, Wednesday- Gilmore Girls, Thursday- 7th Heaven, Friday- Gossip Girl, Saturday- Smallville, Sunday- America's Next Top Model.
34. All new episodes of Project Runway must be available for commercial-free viewings. Don't have Tivo? I suggest you get it.
35. Entire Elton John discography on vinyl. If recordings do not exist, please get it printed. If requires to print your own, we require vinyl to be transparent pink.
36. Homemade chocolate birthday cake with the words "Happy Birthday Mother Fucker" written on it in organic buttercream frosting.
37. A vile of the tears of at least ten homeless veterns to be consumed on stage during cover of We Are The World. Collection of homeless vetern's cardboard signs is appreciated. Polaroids of homeless veterns must be submitted to road manager one week prior to event. Homeless veterns must be compinsated for their time. $100 an hour.
38. One French Canadian hair dresser.
39. Four coffee mugs collected from local thrift stores, washed at local car wash. Must be available at load in.
40. Collection of at least 12 locally created hats or head pieces. No advance photos, surprise us. Please, nothing sports team related. We are from Albuquerque, where we have the Albuquerque Isotopes. Therefore, we have won the mascot game.
41. Custom designed Ross troll doll with lucky gem belly button to be left on stage prior to preformance. Just because Hallmark stopped selling them doesn't mean Ross stopped making them.
42. On that note, collection of all available primate beanie babies purchased from local area Hallmark must be available for sale at merch table. One actual primate must also be available for sale/adoption. Youtube video of primate must be forwarded to road manager one week prior to event.
43. Neon sign reading, "Yeah Bitches" must be installed on tour bus day of show no later than 6:00 pm. Colors dependant on color of shirt artist is wearing during preformance.
44. One color-coded map of every Starbucks, Taco Bell, Subway, Wendy's, Church's & McAlisters within 150 miles of venue to be sent to road manager one week prior to event.
45. Professional seamtress with experience in mideval & renaissance costuming required at load in. Samples of work must be sent to road manager one week prior to event. Road manager is a size 8.
46. State Flag of New Mexico made out of red and yellow peanut butter M&M's. No smaller than 3 feet tall, thanks.
47. Personal fluffer. Resume must be submitted to road manager one week prior to event. Selected candiates will be notified one hour prior to load in.
48. Only acceptable lighting in green room are Al Gore lightbulbs.
49. Petting zoo in parking lot of venue. Must have no fewer than 5 baby goats. No llamas.
50. Miley Cyrus in a bed sheet.
51. Kiddie pool filled with pastaceio jello pudding. No green, please.
52. A gospel choir with no fewer than twenty members greeting us at city limits with romping version of We Shall Overcome.
53. And 18 cases of water. No Aquafina.

Got pictures of what's in my head.

Dear Burlesque Noir,

Read this book.

It's about the Everleigh Club, the high class brothel in Chicago in the 1900's. The owners, Ada and Minna Everleigh, were sisters whose shifting identities had them as traveling actors, Edgar Allan Poe's relatives, Kentucky debutantes fleeing violent husbands and daughters of a once-wealthy Virginia lawyer crushed by the Civil War. While lesser whorehouses specialized in deflowering virgins, beatings and bondage, the Everleighs spoiled their whores with couture gowns, gourmet meals and extraordinary salaries.

It's a fantastic read. Really lush detail. But really, the best part is that the professor of the string orchestra that played frequently at the club was a black man named Vanderpool Vanderpool. In the words of my father, "Someone jumped the fence."

Barter redemption for diamonds and pearls.

This picture was on the front page of the Quay County Sun on Wednesday:

"Chase Montano runs through a series of lateral drills on Monday at Rattler football camp."

His last name isn't Montano. That's my step brother. He's playing high school football.

I'm retardedly excited about it. I guess it stirs up all the found memories I have in Tiger Stadium, sitting behind the band, talking about boys I wanted to kiss, dancing at any opportunity... just all around jackassery. Those were some good times.

I can't wait to go to a game. If anyone's up for a road trip and a sneak peek into true small town life, please let me know.

I think a prophet came to visit me at work. I get to work at 8:01 and he showed up at 8:03 with a letter for my boss. He made me read the first page, which was complete, incoherent dribble, then told me he went to West Point and left. He called the office half an hour later and we had the following conversation:

Cat: "This is Catherine."
Prophet: "Is this the girl at the front desk?"
Cat: "Yes."
Prophet: "This is *********, I came in earlier."
Cat: "Of course, can I help you with something?"
Prophet: "I want you to know been reading the good words of Jesus Christ and he wanted me to tell you that Psalm 37 is for you."
Cat: "Okay. Thank you, sir."
Prophet: "God bless you."

So, Psalm 37 is the one about the meek inheriting the earth. So, after an intense conversation with my spiritual guider today, we decided that I'm already somewhat meek, therefore, the earth is mine. But, I really am reading into it. Prophets are like really awesome horoscopes.

Life recently has been:
1. Job search. Two more jobs passed me up today. Gah.
2. The New Amsterdams.
3. Newcastle Brown Ale and Geeks Who Drink. We got 2nd place out of 37 teams on Wednesday.
4. Gilmore Girls. (Don't ask me why. Probably because I love Jess with the teen angst left in my soul)
5. Blow drying my hair. I'm so sick of it, I want to throw it out my window and onto my neighbor's car.
6. Summer storms in New Mexico. They produce some of the most amazing, inspiring images to date. I'll finish you yet, novel.
7. This book. I can't quite figure it why, but I've read it twice in a week. I didn't like You and Me and Everyone We Know that much.
8. Lunch dates with boyfriend.
9. Converting anyone who's willing into the Six Feet Under army.
10. Caffiene Free Dr. Pepper. WHAT UP.

Inquiring about tax issues.

It's 108 degrees in Norman Oklahoma today.

Matt: Eff global warming, i'll hang out naked with some polar bears.

Me:


Matt: stop sending me porn at work!
Me: Wow, you finally did decide to join the bears.
Matt: i really am kinda mad/happy about this video
me: THERE ARE POLAR BEAR CUB SLIDING DOWN A MOUNTAIN OF SNOW. It is magical.
Matt: dan and i just watched it
Matt: i went through a slew of emotions
Matt: happiness, jealousy, wonder...
Matt: i think god messed up...he should have made me a polar bear
Matt: i'm good at just hanging out all day when i'm not worried about sweating to death
Me: I'm sorry, I still savoring that you just typed "i went through a slew of emotions". I'll dwell over the thought of you actually being a polar bear in a minute.
Matt: god i wish...i'm thinking about moving the computer into our deep freezer and just putting that video on repeat
Me: Imagine how the polar bears in your zoo must feel. That's horrible.
Matt: i should go free them and then ride one back to the arctic
and they'll be like "thanks dude! you can be an honorary polar bear and just chill with us! how do you like raw fish?"
Me: You're really funny when it's hot outside.

I'm glad it's 80 degrees in Albuquerque today.

16 pounds of boost.

Summerfest is a giant quince. But with crackheads. Who dance suggestively. When one of those crackheads tried to hip-thrust at me, my boyfriend put his El Rey security experience into good use and puffed up like a blow fish. Kyle puffing up is about the cutest thing ever.

In other boyfriend-related news, he played his first show with Flood the Sun on Friday. And while he sort of throws off the height average of the band (he does that with everything, though), I think he's sort of in love with that band. They're sort of in love with him too.

The department of Cinematic Arts at UNM sent out a letter asking for information on what their graduates are doing with their degree. While I think most of my fellow graduates get to talk about movie productions and taking Harrison Ford coffee, I get to be all, "I drove to Canada. And I hate my job." No, it'll be much more than that. I think I've conquered a lot post-UNM. I'm still shocked and awed by how much I do use (or don't use) that confounded degree. But, I do love that I graduated from such a small department. It's nice to feel like all those professors do actually care about my brain.

Which, speaking of, I think my brain is frozen. Blogging is pulling teeth. I might take a break. I have been writing a lot of other things, though. Dare I say it, I might, just MIGHT, complete a dang novel. More typing than anything I'm too proud of, but that's what rough drafts are for.