Diamonds and gasoline.

This is my grandmother in her garden, in front of her blooming apple tree. As she ages, seems to look more and more like Betty White by the day. And trust me, she's just as sassy. Grandma's great at dropping knowledge on you, as Grandma's should be. She can be a tad aggressive about it sometimes, but as I told her this past weekend, she's earned her soapbox. And she loves her soapbox. Grandma tells me I need to lose weight and start going to church. She also hates health care reform. This is a pretty typical Grandma position.

So, I spent my first weekend of unemployment hanging out with her, learning all about conservative wisdom. And West Texas. By the time I roll up on day 2 of my typical stays in Pampa, Texas, I'm pretty ready to leave. I mean, come on. It's west Texas. It smells like poop and diesel. But I've come to learn that I actually quite enjoy the bleakness of it all. There's a lot of beauty in being reminded you're so small. I told Chelsey that it takes a tough person to fall in love with the Midwest. As much as I love New Mexico, I've come to realize and embrace that Texas, that godforsaken state to the right (and now, to my left), is in my blood. I might not be that tough, but I'm genetically inclined for it.

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Also, I've got a major case of playoff fever.

And the only cure is more Broingtons.

An Oklahoma City team will be participating in its first professional playoff event next week and I'm quite excited. I'll be logging onto ticketmaster on Friday at 10:00 on the dot to try and get tickets, along with the rest of the state. No one seems to be giving the Thunder any kind of chance at winning against the Lakers, but I say don't count them out just yet. Oklahoma's never had a problem being an underdog.

How you treat me so fine.

I went to Pennywise/Strung Out last night. By far, the LOUDEST thing I have heard in the Sunshine in forever. Ears are ringing this morning (which is rare. This fact scares me a bit…). I was pretty surprised at the turnout, too. I was expecting 300 tops and I think the theater was close to capacity. I was pretty excited to hear PW play Brohymn, to feel like I was 15 again, watching Middle Class freaking ROCK out, but I ended up leaving halfway through their set to grab flyers for the May 30 show. I tried flyering, something I haven’t done in a LONG time, but I looked at 90% of the crowd and went “I highly doubt you will come to a local ska show. But moreso, what are you doing HERE?” Seriously, BROFEST 2008. And then it made sense… Brohymn = bros. OH. OKAY.

I spent most of the show in the thick of the crowd, on or near the barricade. I was a little proud of my nearly-24 year old self, for taking all that force, the kind of compactness that only sweaty bodies can produce. As I’ve said, my fancy-pants job has made me want nothing more than to be a kid again. So, it was nice to have a night of punk rock again. But, no lies, do I ever feel it this morning.

I guess it was my pregame for RANCID ON JULY FIRST. SO HAPPY.

Grandma sold her house. This is fantastic for her, it was a huge weight on her shoulders. I hope that now she can just relax a little bit and enjoy her new surroundings. Her new, very, very, very flat surroundings. I’m sad to see that house go. That was my first home, I lived there for about a year before my parents bought land in Edgewood. And it holds a lot of memories for me. I hope the person who bought it will love it as much as I did. It’s got a lot to love.

The other lame thing about the house selling and Grandma moving is that now, all holiday gatherings will be held in Pampa Texas. Gag my face.

Maria fell in love with a kitty and wants to bring it home. I’m sure it’s an adorable lady cat. Looks like my room will soon be a quarantine zone so that my boyfriend will still be able to come over.

I have some happy news to report. White peacoat of love has been located at mom’s house. Thank you, dear sweet baby Jesus!

I think today is nostalgia day. Rain always gets me thinking that way. So, I highly suggest listening to something you used to love, but magically forgot about. Think real hard about it, now. For me, it’s Oasis day. What’s the story, morning glory? The story is we’re going to need a lot more rain than this or momma’s trailer is gonna get blowed away!

Don't tell Billy Bob.

Good news! Grandma's out of the hospital. Bad news, she ended up being there for 4 nights, something that made her really, really grumpy. Apparently, the infection got to her right kidney and created some kind of kidney pneumonia. So basically, she was pretty sick for a few days there.

I, being the dutiful granddaughter, ran all around town for her all week, bringing her whatever she wanted. That includes a box of plush kleenex at 6am, because the kleenex at the hospital is terrible, apparently. I'm still doing this, as I've been out her house the last two nights.

Now, my grandma's a decent enough person. But, she's got a bad habit of telling you exactly what she thinks, no matter of how hurtful those statements may be. No topic's off limits, including my complexion and my weight. Not to mention, she gives lots of money to the Republican National Party and watches FoxNews 24/7. So, as you can imagine, it's been a draining week. Luckily, I'm outta there tonight; Kenneth's going camping in celebration of Internation Badass Appreciation Day, so I'll be apartment sitting for him.

Here's some odd news: I have started writing, of all things, a novel. After years of memoir, I just started typing about a week ago and about 50 pages of fiction have spit out since. I don't love it yet, but I'm having fun.

Just entering the Park N Ride for the Fair makes me glow. Pictures of adorable living beef should be up over the weekend.

That's what it's like to be rejected.

You know, I really try to limit the vulgarity around here. Mostly because you never know who stumbles upon this; cousins, step-siblings, parents, old teachers, anyone really.

Buuuut,

I had a bad night last night thanks to a shroomin hippie who SWORE our bar overserved her and that's why she was vomiting all over the Launchpad and convulsing. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? (You see overserving in New Mexico is bad news. If you're cited for it, that person can sue you. Or if that person decides to go the wrong way on I-40 and kill a family of 4, you're liable. So, bartending in New Mexico is TERRIFYING.)

Buuuuuut,

My grandma's sick. She pretty much hasn't been taking care of herself, which has resulted in me taking notes on her behavior to her doctor, literally, and being laughed at, literally, because she was too weak to go in. It also meant 4 trips to Smiths in rush hour yesterday and taking care of Annie when I don't have a place to put here. Wiggle Butt is temporarily living with my angel of a significant other.

Buuuuuuuut,

All of that was eh, okay. It was high stress and made me really grumpy, but that all changed when my grandma called me at 8 this morning to take her the ER at Pres because her chills had gotten so bad she was convulsing.

Annnnnnnd here we go.

FUCK Presbyterian. And fuck their excuse for an emergency room, which managed to be below 60 degrees, making my grandma even worse. And fuck the fact I was waiting for 4 AND A HALF HOURS just to see a nurse, while my grandma was convulsing in the waiting room (because, you know, she wasn't a high priority). And fuck their excuse for a staff who seem to treat patients like lottery cards, picking and choosing, laughing behind the desk the whole time. And fuck them for talking to me and my grandma in that retarded kindergarten teacher, high-pitched voice. We're not retarded, she's just sick.

That place should be ashamed to call themselves a hospital, a place that exists solely to help people.... And it does fucking nothing.

And fuck the health care system in general. I know it's not just Pres, but 4 hours to see a freaking doctor?!? In the richest country in the world? What a shitty joke.

And of course, all this mess made me miss my opportunity to do a balance beam suspension with Kate. I want to punch holes in things.

Buuuuuuuuut, most of all,

Fuck having to help your grandmother pee into a cup.