4:30 is the new 5:00

I can't blog about my job, but here's some basics you all need to know.

1. A woman calls me every morning named Rhonda Neilson and she says she's the President of the United States of America. She says she would like us to buy some land.

2. I'm right across the street from a cupcake store. So whenever I'm having a terrible day, I can just go get a cupcake.

3. Everyone I work with is fantastically nice and helpful.

4. There's cable TV in my office. ANTM!

5. Piercings. Gone. I'm trying really REALLY hard to not get emotional about it, letting myself indulge in the luxuries I never got before, like lip gloss, but it's still kind of hard. Nape is still in, because it's discreet when you have long hair, as is septum. I think I'll go visit Noah for some creative jewelry options for it. Make me feel better.

6.With that said, I must be a fancy-pants now. Literally. I've never had a job where dressing up was required. Once again, trying to find the perks like tax write-offs and such.

7. I almost started crying when I saw the health insurance I'm going to have. And how cheap it will be.

8. Your tax dollars pay for my salary. Congrats!

9. I wish I had a window.

10. All in all, it's not too bad.

Other than starting new job, moving into new apartment is going well. My desk got in last night, which was fantastic. It faces my window, and I have a big, fantastic tree to look at. It's going slowly, bit by bit, but it's much nicer than having the stress I had with my last move.

I feel like the shock of the fire is over and I've moved into grief. It's not a depression as much as it is a feeling of loss. I'm not overcome with any kind of sadness, but it feels like there's just something huge missing from my life.

I really must stop reading rocksquawk. All it does is make me so furious my face turns red. Yesterday turned into Hate On Kathy Day. People were saying the most disturbing things. Appartently, in their brains, she was sitting around with lighter fluid and bottle of linseed oil, just waiting to ruin Joe Anderson's life. Not quite true, guys. I guess they missed the part about the fire being accidental. And the part about how we've treated our floors with linseed oil before and this never happened. And the part about how ATF had only heard of this kind of thing happening. One of them said that if Kathy wanted help from the community, she would have to be part of it. Well, that's somewhat true. She was never part of their community. I know why people don't like her. Trust me, I completely get it. And she does some things sometimes that I don't agree with at all. But, she is far from a failure or a community-ruiner.


I certainly found a community because of her.

And not only that, say what you want about the bar. We never gave a damn about our reputation. BUT YOU FLAMERS LEAVE THE "JANITOR" ALONE. Once again, did ya get the memo the fire was accidental? You have no idea what "the janitor" is going through. He did exactly what he thought he should have been doing. I called 5 different hardware/floor stores and no one could give me an answer about the application of linseed oil. No one. Spontaneous combustion is more urban legend than anything else. He even washed out the rags. Repeatedly. The water actually made it harder for the oil to break down. This wasn't just carelessly leaving rags lying around. He doesn't need your judgments.

The point is, it's bad enough what happened. You don't need to bash on the situation on an internet message board. I'm not asking for you to pretend you loved it, that you went there every weekend. Just have a little heart. As far as I'm concerned, that building was the best thing in the world. For several reasons. But, right now, because it held in that two alarm fire. Without much trouble. It could have destroyed the whole block. But it didn't. And for that reason, people should love her.

The other point is I'll never post that on rocksquawk. Mostly because it's not even worth it, but a tiny part of myself is terrified of internet warfare, as previously mentioned.

When it rains... Annie has to go to the vet tomorrow. I'm very much getting the feeling that my grandma's giving up on her. Her health is getting worse, but I'd call it more inconvenient than anything. I think Grandma's leaning for putting her down (something that makes me cry just to type) and of course, I want to fight for her. But, I don't know how much say I have in the matter since she's really not my dog anymore. I can't keep her, and I don't know a single person who would want such a high maintenance creature. Like I said, not looking forward to that discussion tomorrow.

Trying really, really hard to be positive about all of it. Trying even harder to find constants in all this change. But, both seem impossibly hard sometimes.