Meat falls off the bone.

Want to know where I’ve been? Everywhere, really. Falling in love to the sounds of the city.

2010’s been kind thus far. Or as kind as it can be. Highlights of the first three months:


1. I bought a car. A CAR. I bought a car. Big hairy deal, friends. Never in my life have I had such responsibility before. It’s mine, for better or worse. Of course, a week after I buy it, it gets recalled. Of course! I’m not too worried about it, however. Ye old Toyota truck kept me safe and happy for almost 10 years (RIP Joan Rivers) so I had not a concern about buying another one. I ended up with a 2009 Toyota Matrix. I’m pretty happy with it, especially the power locks and windows. After 10 years of manual locks and a back window that would almost fly off the truck when you opened it, I’m excited to have keys that have buttons that make my car go BEEP.

Now, You might be wondering how I was able to afford such a vessel, as I have been rocking some financial stress recently. Well, true to form, Joan Rivers took care of me even after her death (RIP). State Farm gave me $8,300 for my truck, manufactured in 2000 with 200,000+ miles on it. I made the insurance dude repeat it about 5 times. Could not believe it. I was expecting maybe $2,000. It almost makes losing her that much more heartbreaking. She was a good ol’ girl. I still miss her fraying selt beats and the neon green silly putty stuck to the passengers seat. I can only hope she goes on to help lots of other baby Toyotas. Once again, RIP, fair truck, RIP.

2. Someone hit my new car. I know, I know, it’s fine, go ahead and laugh. I did. It’s hilarious just how much can possibly happen to my cars in a month. This time I wasn’t in the car. Oklahoma City had an ice storm back in late January and it basically shut down the city for 3 days. My favorite part was watching everyone freak out about it before hand. The lines at gas stations were ridiculous and you couldn’t find a loaf of bread or laundry detergent to save your life. Really, guys? Oklahomans laugh in the face in tornados. But ice storms, they don’t fuck around with their ice storms.

Anyway, I parked my car on the street, not in the parking lot of the condo complex, in an attempt to minimize the chance of something hitting it, AKA tree limbs and power lines which tend to fall down a lot in ice storms. However, I did not calculate the chances of another car driving down the road on an inch of ice and sliding into my parked vehicle, which is exactly what happened. As for when, your guess is as good as mine. I didn’t touch my car for 3 days because I didn’t want to wreck it and I was terrified to drive in bad weather after what happened to me and the truck in December. Pretty simple logic. When I did finally drive it, I went to Homeland to see if they actually might have some bread and sure ‘nuf, someone nailed my left front fender and didn’t leave a note. Thanks, dude.

It took me about a month and a half to get the money I needed for my deductible, but I did go ahead and get the damage fixed. So now she’s shiny and clean again. I’m just waiting for something to happen to it again. It’s such an abnormal feeling for me to now be driving a car that doesn’t have an effed up front end.


3. We had an ice storm.

I've learned pretty typical ice storm procedure is stay indoors and drink as much as possible.

So, this happened.




3. I made two trips back home. The first was back in January to actually celebrate Christmas with my mom, since I didn’t get to do that. It was a nice, mellow trip. I took a week off from work and treated myself to a plane ride. I spent most of my time in the mountains with family, but did have a very, VERY drunken night with Maria in there.


Her words: “You drank the whole bar.” My words: “It’s a miracle I was upright.” And thank GOD my phone battery died. Or you all would have been subjected to absolute torture. The good news is that I got about $20 worth of Golden Pride to cure my hangover. Bless you, Albuquerque.


The second trip was last weekend and far more eventful. On Friday night, Flood the Sun played their last show. But the big event of the night was Joel asking Ashley to marry him. I was in on it for a few days prior, but Ashley was completely in the dark. When I got to Burt’s, Joel told me it was my job to make sure Ashley stayed happy. He was worried that she might get emotional with it being the last show. I think I succeeded. The entire time Flood the Sun is playing, I’m about to bust because I know what’s coming.


And then, it happens and I do burst. It was so sweet and so perfect and Ashley had no idea what was about to happen until Joel was down on one knee. I’ve never seen the two of them smile like that. I get a bit misty thinking about it.


On Sunday, Emily Stone became Emily Kohen. It was quite the event. The wedding, the reception, the wedding party, the bride, they all looked beautiful. But probably the most beautiful part was seeing one of my oldest Albuquerque friends marry someone who makes her so happy. Emily and I have seen some days, we’ve had quite a few adventures together. We may not be as close as we once were, but I was really happy that I got to be part of the next great adventure in her life.


So, congrats and mozel tov to the Kohens and the soon-to-be Dickmans. That weekend melted my heart into a pile of goo.

3. I still have a job. And yeah, it’s still temporary and that’s still driving me crazy. But I’m trying to be content with what I have. It’s a paycheck after all. The great news is I applied to OU this week. So it’s only a matter of time before I’m signing up for classes and getting back to the academic life, something I am so, so, so excited about. I haven’t quite figured out how I’ll be combining school with work when they collide, but I’m also not worrying about it. I’m more concerned with being happy at this point and getting back in a classroom will make me happier than most anything else. I’m 17 credits of a BA in Anthropology. Part of me just wants to crank it out in a semester and live off a small student loan. Most of me knows I shouldn’t do that.

4. Remember the novel I talked about on here a few times? I started writing it in April of 2008. I wrote pretty consistently from then till about December of that year then I lost interest and I drifted off from it. I came back to it a few months ago, with new motivation, and actually finished it on the 25th. That’s right, I, me, little old me, has written a book. A BOOK. 441 pages of BOOK. I’m not one to be a show off, but I’m proud of myself. I’ve started noveling several times and I get about 100 pages in and completely lose interest. So I’m applauding myself for actually getting it done.

So, what’s it about? Good question. I’m not quite sure. Me mostly, I guess. There’s a lot about the fire in the Golden West, some of college, a lot about growing up. It’s fiction, but it feels like I wrote a memoir. Now, the book itself is total crap. And I’m not just saying that. It’s a mess of grammar errors, typos and fluff. A part of me wants to lock it away and never look at it again. The other part wants to dive back in and get it ready for public consumption; maybe put myself through the super-awesome and self-esteem building process of trying to get it published. However, I don’t think I have the confidence (or the money) for something like that at this point in my life. So, for now, I wrote it for me. It might just stay that way. Who knows. I’m just celebrating the accomplishment.

5. Gertie killed a bird back to January. This was horrible, absolutely horrible. By killed, I mean she slayed that thing. Left nothing for the taking. We’re still finding feathers.

The day of the incident, I came home and Chelsey was napping. I open her bedroom door to retrieve the dog and Gertie trots out. We go into my room and get on the iMac. Now, I can open my bedroom window and it’s low enough that Gertie can scamper out of it and into the yard. This is awesome late at night. So, Gertie starts scratching at the window to go out and I open it. As soon as I do, I see this sea of white feathers. I already know what’s happened. I close the window immediately with Gertie outside. About a minute later, I look out and there’s Gertie, sitting by the window, prim, proper and proud, with the dismembered carcass of what might have once been a bird at her feet. I make Gertie come back in and make her leave the bird outside. I wait for Chelsey to wake up and tell her the awesome news. We decide to remove the bird with a team effort; she holds open the bag, I drop the bird in. Normally, things like that don’t bother me. It’s just nature. I worked at a vet for a long time. But what Gertie did to that bird… was completely unnatural. It took us about 20 minutes to build up the courage to go out to the yard and get the bird. But we did it and screamed the whole time. Once it was in the bag, I just threw it over the fence. Bad move, I know. A kid could have found it. But dudes, I was beyond caring. We tried our best to clean up the feathers but it was almost hopeless. Pretty sure Gertie ate most of them.

On that note, Gertie has eaten the blades off of one of my razors and chewed up multiple lighters, meaning she’s also probably consumed lighter fluid. The puppy is indestructible.



6. Kenneth came for a visit. My first visitor in Oklahoma! It was quite the event, His bus got stuck in the East Mountains for 4 hours and delayed in Amarillo for another 3. He was supposed to get in Monday morning at 9:30. He got in Monday afternoon at 4:00. Poor guy. But we had fun. We didn’t do too terribly much, honestly. He loaded World of Warcraft on my computer and one night, I fell asleep to the sweet sounds of him typing and battling away. What a flashback it was. It was nice to just spend time with him, just watch a movie together, that sort of thing, the way we used to.


We also took in the National Memorial, the first time I’d been since I’ve lived here, a bit of downtown and Myriad Gardens,


which has some grossness happening.

7. I’m not the only one buying a car. Chelsey got a new Kia Forte back in January as well. My mom decided she was a little sick of being stuck in the mud and invested in a Rav 4 when I was visiting in March. The dealer was only going to give her $500 for her 1993 Corolla, something she was a bit upset about. So she said, “Does Kenneth need a car?” Me: “Uh, yeah.” Mom: “Okay, he can have mine.” Just like that. Mom’s pretty sweet.

Other than that, life’s finding a routine. Something that would normally upset me but after the chaos of last year, I’m pumped about it. I’ve been trying out several infamous Oklahoma eateries (see Mr. Spriggs, Eischens, Kendalls and the great onion burger war). I’m scared of the impending tornado season. I like vodka + soda a lot these days. I’m hoping to head to Dallas on May 15th for Tom Petty. I’ve been enjoying Sundays quite a bit, which normally includes brunch, Megan, mimosas, and Chelsey singing Lady Gaga at the HiLo.


Bonus Sunday activity. Or not. Depending on how you look at it.

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve been too calm and too rational recently. Like, maybe it would be helpful to lose my head a little bit, let the crazy girl run free.

I <3 TO FEST.

Ten Fun Facts about The Fest! (and my trip across the South.)

1. Alabama is freaking terrifying at 4:00am.
2. Florida is 80 degrees in October and also 95% humidity all the time. Be still, my beating heart. No really, calm down Cat, stop panting.
3. The Fest is just as much ruckus as you've read it to be. I saw random pairs of underwear on sidewalks.
4. That said, it's really a brotherhood. If you pass out on the street (which I did not!), someone will always pick you up and help you out.
5. And that being said, the male:female ratio is about 9:1. I dunno, something about dudes liking bands that sound like Hot Water Music? And more so, the ratio of attractive males with beards and good tattoos:unattractive males is about 9:1. ONCE AGAIN, be still, my beating heart. (Such a stereotypical "girl who went to Fest" statement, but like I care.)
6. PBR tall boys are $2 everywhere you go.
7. Music never stops. There are warehouse shows, house shows, acoustic stuff in hotels until bars open the next day.
8. More cities need this. I know it's convenient in Gainesville with No Idea, but seriously. It's a great showcase for local venues and lesser known bands, but also a huge money maker for a city that normally doesn't make much on Halloween weekend because of the Florida/Georgia game being at a neutral site out of town.
9. I took VERY FEW pictures of actual music. The amount of people running around with D-80's and waving some sort of press pass was gross. I'm sorry, responsible press doesn't stand ON the stage WITH the band to take pictures. That's my one complaint.
10. I went to Graceland on the back, fulfilling a life-long dream. The staff told us awesome stories about Elvis and his buddies riding the horses and golf carts all over the property. I AM SURE THIS HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH NARCOTICS.
BONUS FACT. I had the most fun Halloween in my life history with the holiday. I'll be back next year.

And now, 10 fun fotos!


I repeat: Alabama's terrifying at 4:00am. We drove right by Talladega, or as Matt called, "Burning Man for rednecks".


Georgia.


Matt McHughes carries a man purse when he needs to distribute CDs.


Someone in this photo is drunk and someone else is high. TAKE A GUESS.


Jerry Jump is the best person on the planet.


Oh HELLS yes.


The amount of mirrors in Graceland is ridiculous. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH NARCOTICS. This is me and Jerry creeping some floral arrangements. See the corner for bonus Matt.


That monkey creeps me out. And I really like monkeys. But not that one.


ONCE AGAIN. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH NARCOTICS.


The amount of records and awards in that place would make Bono pee his pants.

And for that actual life-thing, I start work tomorrow. Dreading it, since I picked up some sort of Fest flu. But I normally feel this way before going back to work. And once I get back into the swing of things, I feel so much better than I did when I was unemployed.

Let's go shut it down.

We decided the puppy needed a super Oklahoma name, since she's an Okie at heart (although, me and Chelsey have decided to teach her commands in Spanish and Latin, as well as plain English). We thought and thought about what to call her. We looked through lists of local Oklahoma celebrities, famous western cowgirls, street names, counties... pretty much anything. And then it sort of hit us like a brick.


Oklahoma, the Musical.

We named her Gertie Cummins. She's like the Janice of the musical. We picked it because we liked the sound of it, and now, more and more, she's exhibiting such Gertie-like characteristics. She's a loud mouth, and she MUST be the center of attention. But, what 10 week old puppy doesn't?

She's such a puppy. She loves her toys so much. And she bites feet like she's trying to herd people together. We took her to Lake Hefner the other night and she ran right into the water. She's absolutely fearless, unless it involves cars, and that's a phobia I'm glad she has. She'll ride in them just fine, but when it comes to walking next to them, she's ridden with anxiety.

It's exhausting, watching her every move. But I love the little pile of cuddle and urine. And she loves us too. I feel like a mommyblogger right now. And I worry that one day, Gertie will say, "Mom, why did you post pictures of my butt on the internet?". But until then, puppy pictures GALORE on this page of the internet.

But did you notice anything about the photo quality in that last picture? Like it might have possibly been taken in Photobooth?


It was.

I'm now the proud owner of not one, but TWO new Apples. Excessive? Oh, I tend to agree, but logically, it works out. Laptop's for when I start school again and the many traveling adventures I plan on taking in the next few years. Desktop's for storage and various creative projects. Dudes, after YEARS of absense, Final Cut Pro is up and working again. Remember when I pierced all of you for a stop motion movie that I never made? Well, now I shall make it!

It's very, very exciting to have a massive, new creative outlet again. And to have a laptop with a working "S" key that can run more than one application at a time. And on top of all of that, a puppy too. Life is new, new, new and full of stuff, stuff, stuff. But quite honestly, life feels a little like a Danny Winn song. If you know what I mean.

Job-stuff is still questionable. What I've got is only temporary and I interviewed for permanent on Friday. However, the state of Oklahoma has awesome merit tests and if you don't test high enough, you're out of the game. So, even though the supervisors love me and I'm super-good at my job, I probably won't get it. We shall see, though. If not, I'll probably start substitute teaching. And won't that be an adventure in blogging!

Eric drinks his own pee.

The workforce welcomed me back (finally) on Tuesday for yet another job I can't blog about. I think that I'll just have to accept the fact that I'll never be allowed to blog about another job ever again. But, so far, so good. It keeps me busy, if not a little mind-numb, but the days go by quick. It's in Midwest City, a whole 19 miles from where I live in OKC. Right now, that doesn't bother me, but it might start to get on my nerves in a while. It's nice to have a routine again.

By far, the worst part is getting up early. The Sunday before I started, Chelsey and I decided that buying a 20 pack of Miller Lite at 1:30am and killing it by sunrise was a great idea. An even better idea was going to the diner down the street, still drunk, and getting biscuits and non-chocolate gravy at 9am. Well, it was totally awesome, but as if my sleep schedule wasn't bad enough, that absolutely ruined it.

I can tell you that there was a chocolate party in the building I work on Friday. No reason, just a bunch of people decided to bring in chocolate. Dudes in Oklahoma like to eat. Someone brought in chocolate gravy, which completely blew my mind. I had no idea such a thing existed. Turns out, it's super popular in the south; people serve it over biscuits and dip bacon in it. WHAT. I guess it's sort of like when I try to explain xeroscaping or swamp coolers to people here. It just doesn't make sense. Now, the most important question: how was it? Well, I didn't dip any bacon in it, but it was pretty much like eating a chocolate muffin. With butter. I guess if people can deep fry twinkies, they can make chocolate gravy.