Prior to that, I went with Chelsey to her parents house in southern Oklahoma, Lone Grove to be exact. We drove down with her 3 year old nephew, Caleb. Now dudes, I'm still awkward as anything around kids. They quite honestly freak me out. I have no idea how to behave, what's appropriate, what isn't (however, I did get to remind Chelsey that dropping the F-Bomb is never appropriate when there's a kid in the car, regardless of how bad the drivers on the Interstate are). I spent the first half of the car ride basically petrified of what was sitting behind me. Gradually, I got used to it, though. About the last half hour, me and Caleb invented an awesome game which was throwing his blanket back and forth, rolled up into a ball. The kid thought it was the funnest and funniest thing to ever happen on Planet Earth. Because I kept talking about "balling up the blanket" and how hard he was throwing it at me, that turned into Caleb screaming, "I'm gonna ball-punch you in the face!!!" Mid-ball punch contest, I quietly asked Chelsey if it was okay that I was, in essence, playing fetch with her nephew. "Chelsey, it alright if I treat your blood like a DOG? That cool??" She told me it was totally fine. She was actually grateful that it kept him quiet for the ride.
I'm so far away from being a parent. Maybe there is that little switch that kicks on someday, when child care just feels normal. Truth is, I've just never had to do that. I never had siblings, or nieces or nephews or cousins, I never had to babysit. I still remember just how SURREAL it was to watch Sergio hold Rachel for the first time and realize just how much of himself was in that baby, how much he owed it, how different his life would be from that point on. That little 6 pound infant was actually about 600 pounds of responsibility.
But just like everything else in Sergio's life, he adapted to it so quickly. It completely switched on for him. And that's not to say that it hasn't been difficult, because really you know, it's not like raising a life is the easiest thing in the world. Now it's weird to remember the Sergio without Rachel and Caitlin. Which is how it's supposed to be, I'm sure.
Anyway, I'm days away from birthday #25. Now, that's SURREAL. It's sort of got me examining things, comparing myself to other people and where they were at 25. When my mom was 25, she was working for a pizza supply company in the Bronx and living with the woman who would become my Oma. My dad was living outside Dallas, working at an airport and playing in country rock bands. They didn't get married until 31 and 32; didn't have me til they were 33 and 34. In comparison, literally more than half of the people I graduated high school with are married or have children. A part of me feels like I really should be more ready to settle down. I feel a little bit out of place, almost guilty about it. But more of me is screaming about all the things I still want to do in my life. (God, I really wish I was starting school in the Fall. I would be so, so happy if I was.) I think parenting will be a extraordinary adventure, but it's one I am certainly not ready for.
It really is amazing just how much we become our parents. Which is probably why the thought of child rearing still terrifies me. Thankfully, when I do get there, I've got about 500 people in my life who will rule at parenting and I'm sure they'll walk me through the whole process, and make sure my kid doesn't end up on The Real World. Hey, remember when that show actually featured people and not alcohol? I'm getting old.
On a completely unrelated note, saying I drank too much last night would be a gross understatement. Last night was the sort of night where sleeping on your bathroom floor was the best available decision. Going my text message outbox this morning literally made me cringe. Next time I'm playing flip cup, the phone stays at home.
2 comments:
Hey remember when I threw up southern comfort all night in the dorm?
oh yeah, I heard verizon was getting the iphone....
YAAA HEEEERRRD?
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