Comfortable coffins.

Written sitting in bed at my mom’s house in Edgewood, New Mexico…

Breathe in, breathe out. I felt like that last couple days I’ve had to remind myself to do that; because of stress, because of sleep deviation, because of emotional overloads.

Fact is, Albuquerque has been a little like a tomb for me, and it took me til tonight to realize it. I felt like that city was holding me in, and I loved it. I could have died there and been happy. But, it was also holding in all this tension and all this stress. Watching it fade from my rearview mirror tonight broke my fucking heart. The only thing I wanted to do was exit off Tramway and turn right back around. Leaving was next to impossible.

Once I got through the mountains and into the valley where my mom lives, it was instant relief. I really can’t explain it, but it was the best I’ve felt all day. Just like, well, that’s over. Thank God. Just being 30 miles away (I can see the light pollution from my window) is liberating.

Today was hard. I’ve living off minimal sleep and minimal eating (why can you never eat after an all-nighter?) and the thought of leaving behind everything comfortable just reduced me to emotional retardedness. The crying started when I told Annie I’d be back, went straight through hugging Kenneth behind the theater, climaxed for watching my city disappear, and had a grand finale for Kyle, who I dropped off at his parents. Exhausting, I tell you. It’s hard, saying goodbye to so many amazing people with only the promise that, yeah, sure, I’ll be back. When? Not quite sure.



Speaking of my Wiggle Butt, Annie’s got a fantastic home with my grandmother (of all people!). I am stunned that she wanted Annie, but she seems excited about it. My grandmother has a soft spot for dogs, so I’m assuming they’ll be fantastic, if not grumpy, little old ladies together and spend most of their days sleeping. If only Annie could talk, they would stay up gossiping and painting toe nails all night.

Also, on the subject of goodbyes, I really need to apologize to all of those I didn’t get to see before I took off. I know, I know, I’m lame. But, true story, it is freaking amazing the amount of crap you can acquire after living in a house for 4 years. Ridiculous. All I’ve done for most of my week is move. And move some more. I seriously had NO time for anything me-related, my life was devoted to my house (with the exception being a day trip to Jemez on Tuesday, I needed to fish before I left. Ashley caught some drift wood. It was pretty amazing).

Not only that, but goodbyes are LAME. Just crying, sadness, and completely no need for it! I’ll be back, don’t you worry. Moving is like your birthday. People feel obligated to hang out with you, if only for that one occasion. I love all my homies, I don’t one last luncheon to prove it. J

So, tomorrow I’m off for that other home, the one of long ago, Raton. I don’t think I could have picked a better place for my first stop. It is so relaxing there, I believe there’s healing agents in the amazing water. In fact, I’ll probably be in Raton by the time this gets posted.



Lastly, thank you, Tim Armstrong. Your solo album could not have come at a better time. I’m sure it will prove to be one of those fantastic, emotionally significant pieces of art you can’t ever give up. You’re solo, I’m solo.